A New Blog Post with NPE and a New MH article

I just saw this article at MH. The comments are funny, honestly, do they want me to come to their house? Google it!

Here is the actual link with exciting pics of me training, coaching and enjoying the Piper Down.

They edited out “Indiana.” It sorta kills the joke.

Ice Cream, Eye Wash and Mexican Food

I have a great gym. I think it is one of the best in the world and I just have to open a door to get to it. My garage is thick with kettlebells, barbells, TRXs, and a mishmash of stuff that allows us to handle up to 15 people (well, that’s the most we have had) and get some great training in a short period of time.

For recovery, I have a hot tub, sauna and a very interesting electronic massage bed that does all the work for you. I also have plenty of food and emergency supplies from beer to bandages, depending on your injury.

It attracts a great range of people. I train with nutritionist and elderly, high school coaches and people with life altering diseases. Everyone is welcome.

And, by everyone, I mean elite Special Forces personnel, NFL and MLB players. The upside of all of this is the great conversations. Moreover, you get a glimpse into the wide world of elite performance. And, you hear some funny things.

A few years ago, Payton Manning, would step up the Line of Scrimmage and yell out “Ice Cream.” Now, this wasn’t as famous as “Omaha Omaha,” but I discovered from one of my trainees who has a Super Bowl ring with the Colts, that “Ice Cream” had a very special meaning.

It meant “everything I am about to say, simply ignore.” Manning would then point at the other team and yell lots of words, numbers and colors and none of it meant anything.

You see, I think we need this on the internet. When I see a blog sometimes that says the “Forty Finest Articles in Fitness History” and the author includes 15 or 16 of their own work, I get it: one of us is trying to expand their base. Just do me a favor, yell:

“Ice cream. Ice cream!”

When I get a business card that says “The World’s Finest Coach,” or is it “The World’s Finest Chocolate,” just tell me “Ice cream.”

Another one of our regulars is a Major League Baseball player. One of things he likes about training at our gym is that we don’t have “eyewash.” What is eyewash? It is all that pomp and circumstance and grandstanding and “look at me, look at me” that dominates the fitness industry. Listen, it’s a burpee, you don’t need to film it for the historical record. That’s eyewash.

Eyewash abounds in our industry. We need to get back to the basics of getting people to move more and move better so they can move more and move better. And, I have a solution for you and it’s Mexican food.
Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians. I can’t even think about the foodstuff called “Hot Pockets” without going into one of his riffs. He has this great insight on the Mecca of Mexican food, Indiana:

“Mexican food’s great, but it’s essentially all the same ingredients, so there’s a way you’d have to deal with all these stupid questions. “What is nachos?” “…Nachos? It’s tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables.” “Oh, well then what is a burrito?” “Tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables.” “Well then what is a tostada?” “Tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables.” “Well then what i-” “Look, it’s all the same s–t! Why don’t you say a Spanish word and I’ll bring you something.”

You see, I see training people the same way. You want to play in the NFL? Good, then we have to do:
Pushes
Pulls
Hinges
Squats
Loaded Carries
Everything else, but mostly groundwork

And you? MLB? Ah, yes, that would be:
Pushes
Pulls
Hinges
Squats
Loaded Carries
Everything else, but mostly groundwork

Do you see that nice fat loss client over there? She seems to need, I don’t know, let’s have her do:
Pushes
Pulls
Hinges
Squats
Loaded Carries
Everything else, but mostly groundwork

Programming is that simple. Everybody has the same basic body and needs and we have to have the courage to train the fundamentals, the basics, at least 80% of the time. Sure, add some spice in there now and again, but focus on the basics.

As I was told by a truly great coach one time: “You (meaning me) need to have the courage not to get bored watching the basics.” That’s the key. Yes, I know our clients and athletes come in with all these new and great ideas about how to train after watching twenty seconds on the Internet or a TV commercial.

Let’s practice:

Client: “I saw this blah blah blah on the thingee and I really want to start (fill in the blank).”

Inside your brain: “Eyewash. Eyewash.”

Turn to your other clients: “Ice Cream. Ice Cream.”

Program like this: Tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables.

Tomorrow’s session is at 9:30 and I think we are going to do:
Pushes
Pulls
Hinges
Squats
Loaded Carries
Everything else, but mostly groundwork

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